June 15, 2012. Friday.
At 7:30 A.M, I left the house going towards a place, which I know would be the start of the journey I’ve began praying for since December of 2007.
It was quite a “wrestling match” with the Lord. No audience involved. No referee. Just me and Him. It was never easy coming up with the decision to work not in a clinic, a hospital, or do “home health”. This time, by God’s grace and mercy, the Lord called me to serve Him full-time in a local church as part of their pastoral staff.
Anxiety, anticipation, fear and joy – a strange concoction of such feelings crept in as I stationed myself inside my cubicle. I honestly don’t know where to start. Even if I’ve been in the ministry (as a volunteer) for more than eleven years now, everything just seemed different. Everything’s new. I was only left with one thing to do. I grabbed my bible while whispering a prayer to God, uttering words like these:
“Father, please speak to me. Affirm me today. I’m scared, but I know You have called me by name. I really need You.”
The passage assigned for me to meditate on that day was Psalm 91, which I want to share with you here. It’s a little long, but I enjoin you to read along and contemplate on the words of the psalmist.
My Refuge and My Fortress
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler
and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his pinions,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.
You will not fear the terror of the night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness,
nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
You will only look with your eyes
and see the recompense of the wicked.
Because you have made the LORD your dwelling place—
the Most High, who is my refuge—
no evil shall be allowed to befall you,
no plague come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways.
On their hands they will bear you up,
lest you strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread on the lion and the adder;
the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot.
“Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him;
I will protect him, because he knows my name.
When he calls to me, I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”
Today’s the 17th and I can already feel both the fulfillment and the tension in this phase of transition. It’s difficult.
But no amount of fear nor difficulty could surpass the peace that the Lord gives – especially when you know that it is God who calls us. Furthermore, we can remain confident that He shall provide us with whatever we will need to accomplish His agenda. It may be hard to believe, but it’s true. (Oh, what a great God we serve, right?)
My prayer for you today is that your heart would burn as you open God’s Word, just like the people at the road to Emmaus. May God meet with you wherever you are and in whatever situation that you may be.
I pray that you would be refreshed with the truth that He alone is our refuge and our fortress, which we can always trust!